Journalism is a style of writing used to report news and current events. The basics of good journalism come down to grabbing the readers’ attention, being descriptive, and answering the “big” questions that everyone wants to know, the WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY, AND HOW of an event.
For this week’s blog you are going to write a news story parody by describing a comedic event you witnessed or heard about over Thanksgiving break. Using a journalistic style, report the story as if it is a news item (i.e. The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update, etc.). That means, you must answer the big questions above to tell your readers what happened. You also have to write it in a way that will capture our attention; perhaps using a big headline or an interesting first line/lead.
Posts are to be 250-400 words and are due Friday, 11/30 by 3pm.
ReplyDeleteOuch!!
The Hunter Becomes the Hunted
The employee and the hunter wanted their personal identities secured. No names are given.
It happened late on Black Friday, approximately 1:40 at a gun store in New Mexico. At 1:50 the store employee began to load a gun because there was a bear outside that needed to be shot. The police were on scene but all their guns were jammed. They came to the gun store looking for new guns; they found more than what they were looking for. They found a humongous black bear blocking their entrance to the store. The police didn't know how they were going to help the people inside.
The hunter had no idea what was going on at the time and was still looking at the guns. The employee was still loading the gun when the hunter realized what was happening. He grabbed another gun he was looking at and started to load it. At approximately 2:30 the bear entered the store. The employee and the hunter both hid behind the counter while the bear was ruining everything. The hunter loaded his gun and then took a shot at the bear. The hunter shot the bear at 2:40. The employee hugged the hunter and gave him his condolences. The employee started to unload the gun as the police walked into the store. The police were astounded and congratulated the hunter. The police proclaimed him a man of honor. While the employee was getting jealous, he unloaded the gun, it accidentally shot off hitting the hunter at 2:45. The police pointed their guns at the employee thinking that he did it on purpose. The man was arrested. The victim is in stable The employee and the hunter wanted their personal identities secured. No names are given.condition. The employee is currently awaiting trial.
-Remington :)
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ReplyDeleteOops: Man Gets $44 Million Hospital Bill
On January 16, 2012 in New York, a man that was in the Bronx-Lebanon Hospital Center got a $44.8 million bill. The twenty eight year old man, whose name was Alexis Rodriguez, almost had an asthma attack when he got the bill.
Rodriguez is 28 years old and is doorman currently unemployed. Rodriguez is not alone; he is one of several hundred patients that get billed for tens of millions of dollars. What is the reason for this? Well, it's because of a computer error at the New York City Hospital. The company that prepares the bills had by accident, put the invoice number in the space where the invoice amount should go.
Actually, Rodriguez though the bill was legitimate because he had received a large bill last spring when he was in the hospital for pneumonia for three weeks. That bill was only in the tens of thousands of dollars, unlike his more recent bill of $44.8 million. In reality, the $44,776,587 bill should have been no more than $300!
What is the company that made this huge mistake going to do about it? They are sending apology letters to everyone that got the multi-million dollar bills. The company is also going to send out correct invoices.
In the end, Rodriguez didn't have to pay the large bill and is happy about that, but he was still upset at the company with their carelessness. He said to send out a lot of bills could give someone a heart attack.
Brittany Hauser
Brittany
DeleteI like that you have a story that could actually happen. I would be crazy to get a forty-four million dollar hospital bill. I hope it would not happen in real life.
-Alex
ReplyDeletePot-Protecting Alligators Almost Attack Police in Drug Sting
Illegal or Legal?
In Washington state detectives responded to a house where there were reports of shots fired. When the detectives got to the scene they found that there were two angry, five-foot long alligators guarding fifteen marijuana plants in the house. When the homeowner, Darren Shore was found he was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder. He told the detectives he had fired a gun at a car on his property in order of self-defense. Shore thought that the person in the car was going to run him over. A thirty year old man was treated at the hospital for gunshot wounds to the arm and to the back that were not life-threatening. Shore’s story did not match up with evidence that the detectives had that suggested that he fired a premeditated attack when the car arrived on his property.
Before Shore was taken away he offered to help capture the alligators. The two detectives and Shore were able to get the alligators into a bathroom using raw chicken. The alligators that Shore owned legally were left at the home in the bathroom with the tub full of water and raw chicken. The sheriff’s office is in talks with the county animal services to determine were the alligators will be placed. Detectives believe that the shootout was caused because the shooter was supposed to pay the victim for maintenance work and prescription drugs. Shore’s mother stated that her son was using medical marijuana. Although it may sound unusual alligators have been used in California, Illinois, Maryland, and New York for drug protection.
-Alex
Source: http://in.reuters.com/article/2012/11/28/usa-crime-alligators-idINDEE8AR00720121128?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews
Nice job alex, this is really funny.
Delete-Jon
This is quite silly, but you did a good job Alex!
Delete"A Wee-Bit Marked Up"
ReplyDeleteTwo Tennessee "robbers" were caught late last night trying to sneak into a local home.
The police were told that two "black marked men" were attempting to rob a house, and first thought that the homeowner just misspoke from being so frightened. Little did they know that the white Caucasian robbers were actually "marked up." The two twenty-something year old men had colored their faces with black sharpie.
When asked, the colorful criminals said that they didn't have those "black ski masks, like in 'da movies." They only had a black sharpie between the two of them. During questioning from the police, the police asked why they didn't just go out and buy masks, and they replied that "...we had a sharpie, we thought that it worked just fine."
The homeowner, remaining nameless, told his account of the story. His story of the "robbery" goes like this: " I heard a crash from the downstairs, and ran down to check what it was. I honestly thought it was my cat trying to fly again, and I wanted to make sure it was okay. Little Cuddle'ums likes to fly, I'm not sure why, he's done it a million times and never realizes that he can't
Police: " OKAYYYY, but what about the robbers?"
Homeowner: " Oh right, well, like I said. I was expecting my little Cuddles to be in the window. I wasn't expecting to see two men hanging half outta' my window! Well... I froze by the window, and heard them yelling out something, but I didn't pay much attention. I think I heard something about a gun, but whatever. I just pushed them out of my window and went to feed Cuddle'ums. "
Police: " Inter--...esting. Now, was your cat okay?"
Homeowner:" Oh yeah, he's just fine! Wanna' hear him purr??"
The questioning ended there. The police arrested the robbers for attempt of burglary, and also the homeowner for being a male cat freak.
lmfao :) thats so funny!!!
Delete-Evaughn
Hahahaha I love this.
DeleteHaha, this was taken of a "Stupid Criminals" website, and they just had a picture of the guys all marked up..I took that idea and added some of my own.(:
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DeleteI love your story, it was so funny.
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ReplyDeleteOn Saturday around 10 o’clock a set of parents decided to name there newborn baby after the twitter term Hashtag. The mother of baby Hashtag posted a photo on Facebook with the caption “Hashtag Jameson was born at 10 o’clock last nite. She weys 8 pounds and i luv her so much!!!!!” Clearly these people aren’t the brightest crayons in the box, no wonder why they named their daughter Hashtag. They can’t even spell. One of the comments under the picture says” Aww babes you finally had you Tweetybird xxx”
ReplyDeleteAlthough we are unable to verify if this was just a joke or a typo, this kid will have there hands full with teasing. Who knows if the new parents named their daughter Hashtag for attention or what but they definitely have some screws loose.
In reaction to this baby name the “Twitter world” had hash tags of their own including; #FoolishParents, #YourParentsHateYou, and #StupidestNameEver.
The parents of Hashtag are not the only ones who got there baby name off of the internet. In 2011 an Egyptian man named his daughter Facebook. Also in May, 2011 an Israel couple named their baby Like. What goes through these people’s heads when they get ideas of naming their children? Clearly they aren’t all there. Well at least Hashtag will grow up to be a healthy girl. And hopefully she won’t get picked on too much through out her years of school.
Source: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/weird/NATL-New-Parents-Pay-Homage-To-Twitter-Name-Their-Daughter-Hashtag-181233841.html
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20651337,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines#
http://mashable.com/2012/11/27/parents-name-baby-hashtag/
~Chloe
I guess he could have used some elf-training..
ReplyDeleteOkay, picture this, it’s Christmas Eve about 9 pm, and a little boy from Atlanta has just been tucked in by his parents. So excited about the presents he will be getting in the morning, he can't sleep. Somewhere around three in the morning the little boy hears a noise. Now most people would think that it was just his parents putting the presents under the tree, but they would be wrong.
The little boy crept down the stars at about 3:30 am to find a big cloud of dust coming out of the fireplace. The little boy woke up his parents in his excitement because he thought that Santa was coming through the chimney. The kids parents thought that their son was crazy but to their surprise they found a burglar stuck in the chimney. Yes, you read right, the man tried to break into the house through the chimney on Christmas Eve. Talk about ho ho horrible timing. The parents quickly called the cops, and they soon arrived to help smoke out the burglar at around 4 am. According to the police in Atlanta the man had been stuck there since three am the previous morning. The burglar was taken into custody. Now some of you may or may not believe in Santa Claus, but I guess the thief have used some tips.
-Kylie
There once was this girl named Kylie Papalabalabala. She lived in a trailer park, down by the river, in a recycling bin. Why a recycling bin you ask? Because she was a environmental freak that likes to recycle. Anyways, McKenzie was the anchor for the local news channel WBFK. On a Saturday night, Kylie decided that she was going to rob a family's house. Come to find out it was McKenzie's house.
ReplyDeleteMcKenzie woke up with her dog named Fluffer-Balls in the middle of the night and heard Kylie in the kitchen. Kylie was robbing McKenzie's food, because well... she's a fatty. Kylie was taking all of her bread from the cupboards and freezer. McKenzie got out her super soaker from the hidden storage compartment underneath the floor boards in the living room. She soaked Kylie from top to bottom in her spongebob onezie. After Kylie ran out of McKenzie's house soaking wet with all of her bread she ran down the street.
Meanwhile McKenzie, being a news reporter, called her best friend Flumberg and told him the crazy story she had to tell on WBFK the next morning.
The next morning the story about Kylie Papalabalabala was on the news being told by McKenzie Smithbobjones. THEEE END
I like your newsreport! It was funny. Good job!
DeleteOh gee. I'm so glad you decided to write about me you're just too kind..NOT! You're mean, but I guess your blog was alright. :P
DeleteThis was great. Good job Katera.(=
DeleteThis is good, and funny, and I like it. (:
DeleteAw thanks guys. :)
DeleteThis was quite funny Katera.I like how you included my intellegent idea that living in a recycling bin is much more practical than a card board box.
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ReplyDeleteIn the Washington D.C. area a man named Rodney Knight Jr. was committing burglary. While he was there he could not help to notice there was a laptop, with a webcam logged into facebook. So he decided to take a picture with the money that he is stealing from the owner of the house. He uploaded it to the victims son's facebook page. The crazy thing is Rodney Knight Jr. openly just took the picture, the only thing that could of made the police's life easier is if he tagged himself in it.
ReplyDeleteI have know idea a robber would stop to take a picture of himself, and upload it to facebook, how stupid can someone be. First of all he is robbing a person, wouldn't he be nervous of someone coming home, and if you upload something like that to you're victims facebook page, you would atleast think he would try to leave town. But no he did not even make an attempt to escape from town, he stayed right at home with the money.
Rodney Knight Jr. is probably below average when it comes to how smart someone is. Did he think that no one would see the facebook picture, then he would just befriend the person on facebook and show all his friends about how he robbed this family. Like what was going through his head, what was his plans with the picture. But anyway Rodney Knight Jr. pleaded guilty for 2nd degree burglary, and know is in jail.
-Jon Hollen
Between two thousand six and two thousand ten, a nun Sister Mary Anne Rapp was stealing money from the church she stayed at. Come to find out it was to support her gambling addiction. I am going to take a wild guess and say that is against her religion or the rules as being a nun. She was not a very good nun at all.
ReplyDeleteSister Mary Anne Rapp was treated for her gambling addiction and is in recovery. Although she went to get treated, she was still facing a criminal charge of grand larceny and the thefts from the St. Mary and St. Mark congregations. The officials believed Sister Mary Anne Rapp spent the money gambling at the casinos. She was the member of the Sisters of St. Francis, based in Lewiston. Lewiston happens to be north of Buffalo. She was placed on leave from her position as a pastoral associate in February of two thousand eleven, and she was then fired in April of two thousand eleven.
Sister Edith Wyss, the provincial minister of the 138 member order, tells people that when Rapp was placed on leave, she agreed to get treatment for her addiction. She spent nine and a half months in an in-patient treatment program and is maintaining her recovery good for the time she’s been released. She will be making up for all the money stolen and have it given back to the churches.
Some nuns can't be trusted even when they are in the house of God.
Sourses: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/11/05/officials-gambling-addicted-nun-stole-100k-from-ny-churches/#ixzz2DizJLJCh
I like your closing statement, it's interesting. :D
DeleteHahaha! Katie this is great! Why did you type out the years? :P But this is still really funny!
DeleteThe Thanksgiving Bandit
ReplyDeleteOn the night before Thanksgiving an obese girl named Tiffany Scott stole all the food from the town of Deposit. Tiffany has had bingeing (yes that is how it is spelled) problems since she was a chubby little eighth grader.
On the night before Thanksgiving she drove her nasty car and broke into every food store in the town and stole every last piece of food. I’m really not kidding she even took the cat food and bird food. She started at approximately 10:30pm. She also broke into every single one of the houses in town that had food. At approximately 3:30am Tiffany Scott completed her task. She put all of the food in her car and drove off into the wilderness of Deposit. Little did Tiffany Scott know but she had left her trunk wide open. When she did that it left a forever long trail of various foods leading right to her car.
On Thanksgiving day the Deposit police chief woke up and tried to get breakfast but his house was out of food. He was very curious to find out why on Thanksgiving, of all days, why he was out of food. It just did not make any sense to him. The police chief walked outside to his police car and saw the long trail of food on the road. He walked on foot to follow the trail all the way to the wilderness of Deposit. At approximately 8:30am the chief of police saw Tiffany Scott in a food induced coma laying on top of her car.
(Mr. T. This story is not a form of bullying. Everyone including Tiffany know that she is very healthy, I did have her permission to write this.)
-Janai
Good job Janai, this is so funny. I like what you put in parenthesis' at the bottom. I think you did a really good job. :)
DeleteThanks Chloe!!! (:
DeleteSchool sued for teacher held hostage.
ReplyDeleteTuesday, November 22. Thanksgiving. Not to long ago a fellow teacher at Bermingham High School was acused of the bruises left on a 10th grade students arm. She willingly got up to leave the class room and he grabbed her. As she came back in the room, he tripped her and she hit a desk. Mike Holdridge, saying he did not commit any of this violence, was not arrested. Though, there was not enough proof for police, the school "manknapped" the teacher and kept him in the basement. Said so by Mike Holdridge.
He says that the principle Joey Walsh and geometry teacher Heather Portillo of the high school held him captive for 4 days in this basement without food or water. He has now sued the school for $56,000 due by January 10th said so by court. Judge Ron and superintendant Roger Miller have fired all three of the high schools staff.
Mike, Joey, and Heather are all at a Delhi holding cell until future notice. The 10th grader as been accused for lying about the violence and has been expelled from Bermingham high school. She says "I did not mean to put Mr. Holdridge through all of this. I was mad about my test grade and thought it was only a joke". Well this waas no joke, and everyone is in great trouble. Mike, will soon have all the money he could ask for and be leaving the good life. The girl remains un-named until more facts come about. Until then, the schools know that they are in great doo-doo.
-Abby!
Great story! Well.... not great but you know what I mean. I feel bad for the teacher.
Delete“Worlds first toilet park flush with success in Korea”
ReplyDeleteThe park is around a toilet museum and a man named Sim-Jae Duck used to own this museum, as his house. His nickname is Mr. Toilet because he was born in his impoverished grandmothers outhouse. Lee Yeun-sook says that “he is a man thats life literally began in a toilet and ended in a toilet shaped house. Sim recently passed away in the year 2009.
Some of the popular exhibits at the park are called “squat toilets”. Also there is statues of people using the bathroom. Before Mr. Toilets house was donated to Suwon City, visitors could stay there for a night but the cost was 50,000 dollars. So, of course no one stayed.
Now Suwon is called the mecca of toilets and it had pushed to get toilets recognized because they are very important. They are currently doing work in countries that need toilets like the Philippines. In Korea, most people are now getting or have a toilet already. The country's people have risen from quite poor to kinda wealthy in the past couple years.
Kim Gye-soon stated that “For our generation, a toilet was a very dirty and smelly place where you never wanted to go. But now its totally different.” In 2014 they plan to open a toilet culture center near their current park, which has gotten over 40,000 tourists since it opened in July. And the best thing about the park is that it is completely free.
-Devin T. Schmitz
Interesting. I guess some people have nothing better to do than think of toilets. :)
DeleteNineteen year old finds winning lotto ticket.
ReplyDeleteSunday, March 4, 2012, is a long time before thanksgiving, but a Scottish teenager, Ryan Kitching, found a winning lottery ticket in his room, after being ordered by his mother. In response to the winning, Ryan said, "My mum had been nagging me for sometime to clean my room. So I started cleaning and found a pile of old tickets." After taking the tickets to the local supermarket to see if he had won anything, the teen was shocked to find that he had won $83,900. The boy was speechless when he was told that he had just won almost 84,000 dollars. An extremely shocked Ryan stated, "This was the happiest day of me life easily!"
When asked what he'd do with the money the boy already had a few ideas of he own. Kitching said that he planned to buy his younger brother a car, put some of his winnings towards a house and give some money to his parents to go on vacation. Also Kitching said that since he recently broke up with his girlfriend, he can now spend the money on himself and not have to worry about her. So everyone that is reading this listen to your parents, or at least take what they say to you as guidelines, because you never know next time that you’re told to clean your room you might find a winning lottery ticket, or maybe just the socks that you’ve been looking for. (I know this stories’ not funny, I just thought hey this is kinda cool.)
~Emily
There was and incident today on the weather report. Pablo the local weatherman was giving his forecast for todays weather and all of a sudden a rabid cat came and attacked him in the face. He suffered near fatal wounds and developed a case of rabies. After being treated for his wounds he was released from the hospital not knowing that the rabies would turn him into a cat. He goes home to his wife and started purring and cleaning himself. At first, his wife thought he was on some major drugs but she didn't report it to the police because she always wanted a cat. Pablo would never allow a cat in the house so she saw this as a way of getting of what she always wanted. Unfortunately Pablo had to be put down because he always partied with the neighborhood cats. With Pablo out of the way she went and bought herself a kitten. They lived happily ever after
ReplyDeletei love my blog because i think it is really funny and thanks to Mr. T for helping me out.
DeleteCop-cakes:
ReplyDeleteFurious Bride Reports Uninvited Guest After Police Eat Stolen Wedding Cake.
It was October 5th 2012 on a Friday night. The bride was having a great wedding day happy with her fiancé. But then her ex showed up to the reception and stole the wedding cake. She new it was him he is just an obsessive ex. But she was having a perfect day and wasn't going to have her wedding reception without her wedding cake. So she called the police and reported her cake stollen. The Colorado state police were on a mission. They drove around the small little Colorado town and found the cake tree blocks away. But the cops didn't return the cake. They started eating it in the alley they weren't even worried about catching her ex that stole it. The bride left her wedding saw the police and freaked out. Se got arrested on her wedding night. Not very many people can say that! Hahah people these days.